"Law With a Personal Touch"
DIVORCE AND ABUSIVE/CONTROLLING RELATIONSHIPS
Divorce / Family Law - Serving Southwest Ohio
The latest statistical information indicates that one in four women experience some degree of spousal/partner violence. Abusing/controlling spouses frequently employ a strategy to:
- Isolate the victim from friends/family where she could gain information, confidence, and support.
- Creating a bubble of financial dependence upon the abuser.
If you are one of these victims and contemplating divorce, you need to plan an exit strategy. Many controlled spouses have little or inadequate knowledge of their controlling spouse's financial and business dealings, or that of their family. Contact your local attorney for an in person consultation. The advice will be invaluable to you. Protect your rights.
IT DOES NOT HURT TO BE PREPARED!
Start gathering financial (debts) and asset information before you inform your spouse of your intentions to leave. Once your spouse is aware of your intentions, assets often tend to disappear or are denied by the abusing/controlling spouse.
Gather and copy as much financial information as possible about you and your spouse. This information will enable your attorney to determine the reasonable levels of child/spousal support and property division to which you are entitled.
Unfortunately, this information may not be easy to get. Some victims may already be experiencing violence and/or verbal abuse. You need to be careful and secretive at this point. Searching for information may include visiting your bank branch and asking for account information. If you are searching online, use a browser from your local library or a trusted friend's computer, not your home, where your spouse may find out.
The following list is not exhaustive. You should also gather and copy as much information as possible under the section, What Documentation Will I need to Prepare for My Divorce? on the Divorce Page.
BANK AND CHARGE ACCOUNTS
If you have joint credit cards, request that your name be removed from the account. This may help protect you from your spouse's charges after you leave. It won't protect you from any existing charges. Try to obtain the last account statements from this point to document the balances of existing charges.
If you have Joint Bank Accounts, the LAST thing to do before you leave is withdraw 50% of the balances and put them in your personal account. This will prevent your spouse from draining the accounts. Equalization of financial assets will be addressed during the property division later in the divorce process.
All secrecy will be gone at this point. Your spouse will know what your planning. You need this money for attorney fees and a cushion. The court will ultimately settle who owns what. Be conservative with the use of this money! You may have to pay some of it back. To protect yourself, take a screen shot (copy) of the joint account on the date you do it, showing the amount before and after. Documentation is very important.
Finally, talk to someone who has already divorced and further along in their recovery. They are victims too and may share some of their experiences. However, remember that your divorce is uniquely yours. Therefore, the legal aspects are uniquely yours as well. Consult an attorney for those, and do not attempt to handle your divorce by yourself. Remember what Abraham Lincoln said; "A man who represents himself has a fool for a client."
Gather and copy as much financial information as possible about you and your spouse. This information will enable your attorney to determine the reasonable levels of child/spousal support and property division to which you are entitled.
Unfortunately, this information may not be easy to get. Some victims may already be experiencing violence and/or verbal abuse. You need to be careful and secretive at this point. Searching for information may include visiting your bank branch and asking for account information. If you are searching online, use a browser from your local library or a trusted friend's computer, not your home, where your spouse may find out.
The following list is not exhaustive. You should also gather and copy as much information as possible under the section, What Documentation Will I need to Prepare for My Divorce? on the Divorce Page.
- Proof of your spouse’s salary - paycheck stub, tax returns, a financial statement for a bank loan or credit card application and statements.
- Names of banks used and all account numbers along with the most recent statements.
- List of both spouse’s employment benefits, including pensions, 401(k) , IRA, etc.
- Business organizations and any Contracts or business dealings
- Mortgages and leases
- List of all assets such as cars (including titles), real estate, jewelry, etc.
- List of all debts such as loans, credit card bills, creditor names, etc.
- Monthly expenses
- Child care costs
- If your spouse is working under the table, document the hourly wage, how often work is done (hours, days per month) and the name(s) of the person(s) paying for the work.
- Request a free copy of your credit report from one of the three major credit bureaus here. Has your spouse opened any lines of credit in your name?
BANK AND CHARGE ACCOUNTS
If you have joint credit cards, request that your name be removed from the account. This may help protect you from your spouse's charges after you leave. It won't protect you from any existing charges. Try to obtain the last account statements from this point to document the balances of existing charges.
- If you don’t already have one, set up a personal checking and savings account as soon as you can before you leave. I recommend credit unions for establishing credit and avoidance of excess fees.
- These must be in your name only. All account statements must be sent to a secure mailing address or email address so that your abuser cannot access the account or have knowledge of your finances.
- Save as much money as you can without your spouse's knowledge. You will need this to reestablish yourself and pay your attorney fees. Expect Contested divorces to average more than $10,000.00 in the Miami Valley.
If you have Joint Bank Accounts, the LAST thing to do before you leave is withdraw 50% of the balances and put them in your personal account. This will prevent your spouse from draining the accounts. Equalization of financial assets will be addressed during the property division later in the divorce process.
All secrecy will be gone at this point. Your spouse will know what your planning. You need this money for attorney fees and a cushion. The court will ultimately settle who owns what. Be conservative with the use of this money! You may have to pay some of it back. To protect yourself, take a screen shot (copy) of the joint account on the date you do it, showing the amount before and after. Documentation is very important.
Finally, talk to someone who has already divorced and further along in their recovery. They are victims too and may share some of their experiences. However, remember that your divorce is uniquely yours. Therefore, the legal aspects are uniquely yours as well. Consult an attorney for those, and do not attempt to handle your divorce by yourself. Remember what Abraham Lincoln said; "A man who represents himself has a fool for a client."
Location to Serve You:
- Clients: Catalina Manufactured Home Park at 6501 Germantown Rd., Lot 41, Middletown, Ohio, 45042-1264, on State Route #4 [My Home - by appointment only] (Near the Land of Illusion Haunted Scream Park.)
- Phone: 513 423-8912
- Email: Monte K. Snyder, Attorney
THE INFORMATION PROVIDED ON THIS SITE IS INTENDED TO BE A BRIEF OVERVIEW OF SOME OF THE LEGAL PROCESSES INVOLVED IN THE ISSUES ADDRESSED. ALL INFORMATION IS LIMITED TO OHIO. IT IS NOT INTENDED AS LEGAL ADVICE ON YOUR PARTICULAR CIRCUMSTANCES. IT IS ONLY INTENDED TO ASSIST YOU IN UNDERSTANDING THOSE PROCESSES.
